A little help from my friends? ...a plea...

Once upon a time in the land of PhD,

There lived a smart boy; his name was LB.
LB was a bachelor, and a grad student too,
Meaning: he was poor and ate mostly cheap food.

One day, things they changed for this eligible man,
The Heavens collided; the Fates lent a hand.
LB met a girl, and that girl loved to cook,
His stomach went first, but his heart soon was hooked.

She baked cookies and pies, salmon and curds,
Borscht, chicken soup, quiche and roast birds.
She kneaded bread, made rare steaks, wooed him with spice,
She got in under his skin; used her food to entice…

As she cooked and she cooked, she wrote it all on her blog.
Before long, she’d convinced him they even needed a dog.
This girl, she was perfect! And LB, he fell hard,
Without second thoughts, he turned in his bachelor card.

A year or two passed in this shared courtship glee,
Until LB bit the bullet, and asked her, “Marry me?”
Lucky for him, the girl actually said, “Yes!”
(Lucky for her too, I do have to confess.)

The girl shared her delight with her readers online,
They sent their support, told her: “This LB, he seems fine!”
But as she enjoyed this post-engagement bliss,
Everything seemed dandy, yet something felt amiss.

LB stands for “Loving Boyfriend,” but this name cannot stay!
For LB is no longer “Boyfriend;” he’s become “Fiancée.”
So to you, dear readers, this girl makes a plea:
Please help her come up with a new name for LB!

Be creative! Be daring! Be simple! Be nice!
Be funny! Be cute! Give the dear boy some spice!
Choose this name carefully – be it short, be it long,
For the name that is chosen will grace LB from now on.

*****

LB and I are not a very "traditional" couple. We don't know when we first got together or when our "anniversary" is (sometime in February? Maybe?). We don't allow flowers if something bad goes down (flowers are only for happy occasions!) and the thought of using the term "financee" to describe each other to the people around us feels weird and sort of pretentious...which isn't to say that I don't pull it out in certain occasions where it can be quite useful (he he he). For us, it immediately brings to mind images of Elaine from a Seinfeld episode called The Stranded:

Fiancé Woman: I wonder what happened to my fiancé, I know he's here somewhere, Ellen have you seen my fiancé?.

Lady: He's upstairs.
Fiancé Woman: Are you going upstairs?, tell my fiancé I'm looking for him, I have lost my fiancé, the poor baby.
Elaine: Maybe the Dingo ate your baby.
Fiance Woman What?.
Elaine: The Dingo ate your baby.

Maybe the problem is that we just watch too much TV? However, I've also recieved reprimands that LB is no longer my "boyfriend" anytime I use it in conversation with our friends who know we're getting married. So, instead of going with the traditional "fiancee" or "fiance" (whatever), I'm handing the job over to you, my dear readers. Please help me come up with something to call my "non-boyfriend!" I'll reveal the "winner" next Friday, so you have one week to come up with the most creative, funny, cool, dumb and/or fitting name you can muster and this name will be LB's moniker on this blog from now on...or at least until he becomes "husband"...perhaps then we'll have to have another contest of sorts? Thanks for your help!!